Winding down

We are currently winding down our time here in Hanoi. It is with mixed emotions as we get ready to leave this beautiful country of our daughter's birth. We are sad to leave, but also very anxious to be back with our kids at home. With layovers, we have about 35 hours of transit ahead of us. Should be an adventure. Here are a few random pictures:

This picture at Hoan Kiem Lake in Hanoi shows the coming together of the ancient (Thap Rua-Tortoise Tower), and the modern (Hotel in the background).

And on the 8th day, God created the Ergo baby carrier!

Christel couldn't help crashing a wedding at the Huc Bridge on Hoan Kiem Lake.

Downtown Hanoi...Looks just like Main Street USA at Christmas time.

Well...not exactly.

Jaspas...Honour's favorite place to eat breakfast.

Yes...those are french fries. A rare treat.

Like a baby bird learning to trust.

"Dad...are you writing about me again?"

-Rob

Self discovery

I have discovered two things about myself during our time here in Vietnam.

First thing: I would not have made a good ninja. I have tried with every ounce of energy I have, to move with stealth quietness when Honour falls asleep so as not to wake her. When she finally falls asleep next to me at night or for a nap, I try to move ever so slowly to slide my way out of bed to join the rest of the family or to use the bathroom. It doesn’t matter how carefully and quietly I move. She has some kind of built in, super-sonic radar device that detects the slightest movement, which then sets off a silent alarm in her brain. She wakes up immediately from what I thought was a sound sleep and catches me every time! Oh Master Splinter, teach me the ancient ways of stealth. (For those of you who don’t remember, that’s from The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Second discovery: I cannot multi-task. Now, I realize others have probably known this about me for a long time. Christel included. I can even hear my co-workers laughing from thousands of miles away. But some things you just have to find out on your own. The hard way.

If you could only see me trying to sign papers, pay for taxis, exchange money, brush my teeth, or even eat, while I have this beautiful new appendage called Honour attached to my side. It’s quite a circus. Christel just laughs. I’m not sure I like her sense of humor anymore.

Christel can homeschool, prepare and cook dinner, have a meaningful conversation, walk a dog the size of a bear, juggle, run a marathon etc. all at the same time. I can tie my shoe.

But rather than look at my inability to multi-task as a handicap, I prefer to think of it as just my amazing ability to be incredibly focused on one thing; with the power, intensity and accuracy of a laser beam!

So I may not be a ninja or have multi-tasking abilities, but I do have a little girl attached to my side that I can REALLY focus on. And I like that…a lot.

Honour puts her shoes in mine, making sure I can't go anywhere without her.

-Rob

Flying secretly

“For a long time, she flew only when she thought no one else was watching.”
–Brian Andreas

It's been a while since our last post. Christel and I have both been sick with nasty colds. Our time here has been fairly intense. Honour has come a very long way in the last 12 days as you can tell by the pictures below. She is slowly learning to trust. We are beginning to see smiles and giggles take the place of weeping and rage. It was both sad and almost funny at first, in that she would seem to try very hard not to laugh or smile when you could see everything in her wanted to let go. We would catch her secretly smiling and she would try to put a serious look on her face but to no avail. She breaks into laughter. It won’t be long and she will be “flying” without fear anymore.

Can't hold back the smile any longer.

Mom and Honour share a rare intimate moment while Skyping with big sister Amber. She's letting Christel get closer and closer as each day goes by. It's a good thing, because my arms are starting to look like Popeye's from carrying her.

LOVES big sister Michaela!

Loves her even more with a hat on.

Right after coming back from her check up at the medical clinic. Not very happy.

Ate at an awesome restaurant last night (Quan An Ngon) with two other families from our agency. I stayed away from the fried ground pork balls. I just have a built in aversion to eating anything with the word balls in it.

An old pro with the chopsticks.

Honour has an incredible appetite. Is this the look of satisfaction or what?

-Rob

Moments

“The first time her laughter unfurled its wings in the wind, we knew that the world would never be the same.” Brian Andreas

In the words of our oldest daughter during a Skype conversation: "She's so freakin' cute."

Reaction to first Mango smoothie!

Honour reading Lonely Planet's Vietnam guide. She LOVES it!

Missing you

Amber, Ty, Micah and Jazz,

We miss you sooooooooooooooooo much. You belong to us!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry Lola, but we don't miss you yet. Okay, maybe a little.

A day of firsts

First Bath

First Skittles (and first major breakthrough for Mom and Honour)

First Smile

First Laugh

First English words: “All gone” and “Obama”. (We had the television news on and the anchor was talking about the election. When he mentioned Obama’s name, Honour perfectly repeated “Obama”. We about fell off the couch laughing.)

-

Today was a good day. Our little girl is coming back to life again.

-Rob

Tired

It was a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG night.

But SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it!

Flying and falling

Honour handled her first plane flight extremely well. It was a little sad seeing the fading lights of her city as we took off. We will bring her back again one day.

We are now in Hanoi where we will be for the next two weeks applying for her passport and visa to travel back with us. We were told this morning that there has been a delay in getting her required paperwork from her province in order to apply for her passport. We were supposed to apply today, but now it looks like either tomorrow or Friday.

She is still very sad. She has chosen to latch onto me for now. I mean that literally. It’s been difficult to even visit the bathroom without her. She has been sleeping between us, and has to be touching me in order to sleep. If I turn over with my back to her, I feel her nails in my back until I turn back to face her. During the night I woke up and when I opened my eyes she was just laying there with her eyes open staring into my face. She probably feels like she’s falling and is looking for a safe place to land. She will find that place in us.

Exhaustion= sleeping standing up. Really!

Checking out her new surroundings.

-Rob

No longer dreaming

We are at long last…WITH HONOUR.

It seems like just yesterday she was only a dream, a wish, a distant hope. Today she is in our arms. Sorry it’s taken so long to post. We basically went into lock down mode yesterday as Honour began to grieve about an hour after we got back to the Hotel. She has been through so much for such a little girl. While we are seeing a deep sadness, we are also beginning to see a fight in her. This is a good thing. It’s what has brought her this far.

This morning I was reminded of Psalm 56:8;

“You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
and each ache written in your book.”

It seems the older I get, the less I know about God. But this I know; He must have volumes of ledgers and a really big book. Especially for children who ache for home.

First Meeting

Michaela comforting Honour at 5:00am

Dad and Honour

-Rob

Somewhere out there

Flying into Vietnam late last night was a surreal and profound moment. Looking out of the plane window at the twinkling lights of Ho Chi Minh brought both Christel and I to tears. I guess partly due to the idea that this long journey to Honour is coming to an end. Kind of like that dam burst of emotion you see when an athlete who has trained all of his life for that one big race crosses the finish line.

It’s ironic, because the in-flight movie I was watching right before the descent was Run Fat Boy Run. There is a scene at the end where the lead character Dennis is crawling toward the finish line after limping through a 26 mile marathon with a sprained ankle. Lying on the ground, delirious with exhaustion and pain, he is about to give up. He looks up at the finish line and catches a glimpse of the reason he was running…his wife and son. He’s infused with one last burst of strength, gets up and runs like a mad man across the finish line into the arms of home. Pain and exhaustion take a back seat to love.

As we were landing last night, we experienced that dam burst of crossing a finish line. But it was more than that. We couldn’t help but think as we looked out at those twinkling lights, that somewhere out there, beyond the city lights, a little girl we call Honour is soundly sleeping in her bed. Having no idea how many things are going to change so quickly. Having no idea how her world is going to suddenly become very unfamiliar for a time. Having no idea how much she has been loved from a distance. Having no idea how close she is to a forever home, to family, to dreams coming true.

Funny thing about finish lines is that in a strange way, they are actually new beginnings. As Green Day sings in the song Closing Time; “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.” We are now approaching another beginning…another starting line if you would. Tomorrow, our Tribe of seven becomes a Tribe of eight.

-Rob

VERY soon

This is it. We leave in a few hours for Vietnam. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts to all of you who have dreamed with us, prayed for us, hoped with us, and even gave financially toward bringing Honour home. In just a few short days we will finally be...With Honour.

-Rob and Christel

Silence is not so golden

Our house has suddenly become all quiet.

While Christel stayed home packing for Vietnam, I drove our two youngest kids to Nova Scotia this past Sunday, where they will be staying with close friends while we are away. The 12 hour car ride up was a blast with lots of talking, singing, laughing and phone calls home to Mom. It was loud. We listened to the audio books of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe as well as The Magicians Nephew. The classic versions read by famous British actors. (The way they were meant to be read.) We stopped only for bathroom breaks, Wendy’s Baconators and Subway footlong meatball subs. Good times and great memories.

Along the way I could see that they were both torn between the excitement of seeing their friends and the sadness of leaving home for such a long time. Every once in a while I would look in the rearview mirror to see Micah holding Jasmine’s hand letting her know it’s going to be okay. He’s a great big brother. He’s been fascinated with Knights recently and is becoming quite chivalrous.

The ride back home alone yesterday was silent. I missed my kids the minute I got on the road, and with every hour that went by the silence became more deafening. Wow. This is going to be hard.

Christel said it best; “I often think in the midst of the chaos, noise and craziness of everyday life that I would love to just have a day to myself. Even a minute alone.” With tears in her eyes she ended the statement with; “I don’t like it. I want my kids home.”

Whoever came up with the saying; “Silence is golden,” must not have enjoyed the wonder of having kids around.

As Jack Handy observed in Deep Thoughts; “The face of a child says it all…especially the mouth part.” Conclusion: We love the sound of our children.

Micah and Jazz getting ready for the road trip.

Our brave adventurers.

-Rob