No day but today

I saw Rent on Broadway when it first opened in the late 90’s. I camped out overnight on the sidewalk in front of the Nederlander Theatre on 41st street for the $20 front row tickets. I left the show that night with a burning desire to learn what it means to live in the moment.

At one point in the play, the men and women learning to live and die with AIDS sing (with tears literally coming down some of their faces):

"There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today..."

I’m discovering that living in the moment takes conscious effort. To not dwell on yesterday or stress about tomorrow is a way of living that I’m still trying to figure out. This wait for Honour has proven that I’m not very good at it. But I want to learn.

Some years ago, I took author Brennan Manning (Ragamuffin Gospel) out to lunch and asked him what the secret to living in the moment was. He simply answered; “Discipline.” I was really hoping for some kind of easy step by step approach. Follow step one, two and three, or pull all the right levers in the right order and bingo…you’re living in the moment. Unfortunately it’s not that easy. He said it takes a disciplining of your mind to be present, listening and aware right here and right now.

Sorry, but when I hear the word discipline, I have childhood flashbacks of my dad saying “this is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you” right before I received a well deserved spanking. So I’m retraining my mind to think of discipline as a beautiful word and action. A practice that could help create a way of thinking which enables me to not miss the moment.

All this anxious waiting is actually beginning to help me with this discipline. It's causing me to dig a little deeper.

So, in a roundabout, yet beautiful way, Honour is teaching me how to live. And for that, I’m grateful.

-Rob